


Good Enough

by shippingismylife321



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depressed Michael Mell, First Kiss, How Do I Tag, I love my boyfs, I love torturing my favorite characters, I'm Bad At Summaries, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Love Confessions, M/M, Michael Mell is my son, My First Fanfic, The apology we all wanted but never got
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 12:03:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20209432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shippingismylife321/pseuds/shippingismylife321
Summary: Everything had changed since the Squip incident. Michael doesn't smile as much as he used to, he doesn't talk as much, and he'll only hang out with Jeremy when Jeremy invites him over. Michael also makes no effort to try and connect with the Squip Squad and only talks to them if they ask him something. When Michael gets a text from Jeremy saying that he broke up with Christine and that they needed to talk, Michael needs to decide how much he's willing to spill.





	Good Enough

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually my very first fanfiction that I'm posting anywhere. I'm very sad that my favorite thing is closing on Broadway so soon, so I decided to put one of the many fanfictions in my head out there. I hope you enjoy!! :)

Ever since the Squip incident Michael had been acting different.

He wasn't smiling as much as he used to, he didn't talk unless spoken to, and even Jeremy was having a hard time keeping a basic conversation with him. Jeremy has asked him multiple if he was okay, but he would always shrug off his concerns and insist that he is fine. Jeremy knew better.

It had been about 3 months since the Squip incident and now the group was all sitting together in the cafeteria on a Friday afternoon. "I'm just saying Brooke, if they were going to close down Pinkberry they would do more than send a tweet out about it. There would be signs and stuff hanging around town." Chloe said trying to comfort Brooke who was bummed after hearing that Pinkberry was closing down. "You really think so?" Brooke asked her best friend who flashed her a smile and nodded.

Michael was being quiet as per usual with his headphones on and staring at his food or looking down in his lap. "You okay, Micha?" Jeremy asked yet again for what must have been the 8th time that week. 

Michael looked up and squirmed in his seat slightly while messing with the hem of his hoodie now that all of the attention was on him. 

"Yeah, I'm fine." Michael answered blankly 

Jeremy just gave him a skeptical look and went back to talking to Christine about something.

Michael watched as Jeremy and Christine gave each other pecks on the lips and it hurt. Michael loved Jeremy more than he could ever describe, but he knew that Jeremy finally got his dream girl and was happy with her. 

_`God you're pathetic' _Michael thought to himself _`You've never been good enough for Jeremy especially considering that he threw you away because you weren't good enough for him and you never will be, so quit thinking that you'll ever have a chance with him.' _

Michael then shook his head as if to shake his thoughts away even though he knew that they were right that if he had been good enough for Jeremy in the first place then Jeremy wouldn't have felt the need to become popular and take the stupid Squip and leave him behind. 

As the bell rang the only thing Michael was thinking of as he headed to his next class was _`Good enough. You'll never be good enough.' _

* * *

A few weeks passed by and Michael was home alone on a Friday night in his basement rolling a joint so that he could be high before Jeremy got to his house. Jeremy had texted him maybe 15 minutes ago telling him that he was coming over. Jeremy had also that he had broken up with Christine and that they needed to talk. 

Michael had of course gotten nervous after Jeremy had said that they needed to talk because he knew that they did, but he also knew that he didn't want to talk about any of the things that had been bothering him because he wanted to Jeremy to be happy. He realized that he had been dragging him down before the Squip, Jeremy could make friends, but once they realized that he was friends with local school loser and stoner they would immediately classify Jeremy under that category too. But for some reason Jeremy never left not even after the Squip when Michael was sure that he would because he would figure out he was the reason he was a loser the entire time. 

Michael was about to light his joint until he heard the front door open upstairs. Michael panicked and shoved his sleeves over his wrists because then Jeremy would see his mistakes, then Jeremy would realize the freak he actually was and leave him and then Michael would have no one. 

Footsteps then came down the stairs and there was Jeremy looking at him from the last step.

Jeremy then walked over to Michael and took the joint out of his hands and setting down before he said "Michael, I really need to be sober for this conversation." He said so sternly that Michael didn't object like he was planning to. 

"Micha, I need to know what's wrong." Jeremy said softly concern filling his ocean blue eyes that Michael could get lost in.

Michael opened his mouth to say what he always says before getting cut off "And don't tell me you're fine Michael because that's bullshit and we both know it."

Michael kept his mouth shut not wanting to say what had been burning a hole in his brain since the Squip. He bounced his leg and fidgeted with his CREEPS shirt which did not give him very good memories.

"I just can't, Jeremy." Michael finally said breaking the silence

"Why not?" Jeremy asked confused.

"Because you'll hate me and you'll realize everything that I have." Michael sighed really wishing he hadn't left his hoodie on the kitchen table.

"I could never hate you, Mikey. What do you mean realize?" Jeremy asked gently.

Frustrated with Jeremy's obliviousness Michael stood up from his beanbag and looked at Jeremy.

"Jesus, dude! I'm surprised you haven't figured it out already or maybe you have and your just sticking around because you feel bad!" Michael shouted surprising Jeremy.

Jeremy then stood up too and said "Figured what out? I don't know what the hell you're talking about. All I know is that you've been really quiet since the Squip and you don't even talk at lunch anymore unless you have to and you're not even trying to make friends with everyone else."

"That's because they're not _my_ friends Jeremy, they are _your_ friends! They bullied us for years and now I'm supposed to act like I'm okay with everything they did? I don't think so. I never wanted this Jeremy, this is all you, but I'll deal with it if makes you happy." Michael said exasperatedly.

Jeremy looked at him shocked by what he said. "Michael, where is this coming from?" 

Michael took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose before putting them back on and finally saying "I'm not good enough for you, Jeremy. I've been holding you down since we met. You've always been well liked until people realized that you were friends with me and then you were a loser too. Once you got the Squip the Squip made you realize that and then you left me just like everyone else. I was so easy for you to just throw away even after 12 years of sticking by me as soon as you get the way out you took it and left me behind. I thought that after the Squip got destroyed you would still keep doing the same thing, but then you didn't you kept talking to me and still hung out with me after everything even though I'm not good enough and I never will be." 

Michael was sobbing at the end of his explanation to Jeremy.

Jeremy stood there taking in everything that Michael had said before going over and enveloping Michael in a hug.

"I'm sorry Micha. I'm so sorry. What I did was so horrible and I can't take it back. Please don't ever say that you're not good enough because I promise you that you are. I never cared that people didn't like me because of you. I didn't care because I love being with you and I just love... you." Jeremy said trying to comfort the crying boy.

Before Michael could comprehend what was happening he felt a pair of lips crash against his and it took him a second but he quickly kissed back. The kiss was salty and their teeth bumped together, but it was perfect. 

Jeremy pulled back and saw Michael's blushing face and Michael then said "I love you too, Jeremy. Wait, is that why you broke up with Christine?" Michael then asked.

"Yeah, actually. I told her that I really loved her as a friend, but that I'm in love with you. She wasn't mad actually she was very supportive about the whole thing and we're still friends." Jeremy explained. 

"That's really awesome." Michael said happily while wiping his tear stained face. 

Jeremy nodded before saying "Do you want to take a nap?"

"That'd be great." Michael replied feeling exhausted.

Soon enough the two boys were laying down in Michael's bed and cuddling each other before they went to sleep.

For the first time in a long time Michael finally felt good enough. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I would appreciate constructive criticism. You're also welcome to leave me suggestions so that I'll have something to do with my life. Apologies for the rushed ending.


End file.
